Cailin is 15 months and Wesley is 1 month

The past month has been a whirlwind!! Cailin turned 15 months old on the 18th and Wesley just turned 1 month today.

Here is how things have been going...

Cailin is a very busy toddler. She is totally into everything and we have entered the world of tantrums. She likes to get her way! She isnt saying much just yet, but she understands a lot! She is such a good girl and we just love her so much.

Cailin's favorite thing to do is grab cd's, dvd's, and vhs's off the shelf and put them inside Wesley's swing. She also loves opening her drawers and taking her clothes out. At least she puts them back!

Wesley is generally a really quiet baby. He has been having some digestive issues and was diagnosed with reflux. He doesn't spit up but he hiccups, has terrible gas, and pain in the evening. I have even looked over at him and saw him making a choking face because if the acid. We are seeing what the next two weeks bring and then will decide on a course of action. If he stays the same or gets better nothing will be done, and if it gets any worse or if the choking episodes continue we will start by thickening his formula. He isn't the best sleeper but does get two 3-4 hour stretches. He goes to bed around 9/10 and wakes around 12:30 then again around 2:30-4:30 then sometime during the 6 o'clock hour he is up. I can live with the 3-4 hour sleeps but anyhting less is unbearable if I need to be productive. During the day I try to make sure he eats every 2.5-3 hours.


The pair of them had doctors appointments Friday and I was very lucky to have Dan come and help! (Cailin was a disaster to put it nicely).

Wesley got his official diagnosis of acid reflux and we will watch that. He weighs 11lbs 12 oz and is now 22.8 inches long. He is doing well despite his laziness. I need to make certain that he is receiving more tummy time than usual and that I rotate his head. He is developing a flat spot but his head was a little misshapen from birth since he was in the same position for literally 10 weeks.

Cailin's appointment was a little more in depth. She weighs 23.5 lbs and is 31.5 inches tall. Dr. Mahony recommended starting a firm punishment system especially for her incessant food throwing. Every time she throws food or her zippy her meal is over. Period. I had to do it tonight but I doubt it meant anything because she was almost done with dinner anyways. We will be starting her on a multivitamin and need to find a dentist for her. One other thing we need to keep an eye on is her language development. She is very receptive and even understands complicated commands but her speech is behind. She has 1 word plus 3-5 other words that aren't as distinguishable. She says hi well and sometimes mama or dada. She also says mmmmm when something tastes good and uh oh when an accident happens. She needs to have 5 clear words by her 18 month appointment or she will need early intervention and speech therapy.

Wesley goes back next month and Cailin returns in 3 months for their next appointments.

We have received so many cards and gifts it is very humbling. We are so lucky to have caring friends and family here to support us. My former college professor, Dr. Kreiling was even nice enough to send a personal card along with hand-knit booties for Wesley. She even sent a nice email as well. She was always ran a class that was impossible to slack in, and if you didn't do the work you were not getting a good grade. I earned decent marks in her class and really admired her expertise. Not only that but she was overall a great teacher and human being, always helping students and treating everyone the same, even the complete idiots in the class. She really supported a good work ethic and good musicianship. I always valued her feedback from recitals and classwork more than others because it truly meant more.

Welcome to Wesley Jameson Moriarty

This post is quite late but in my own defense I now have a newborn and a toddler.... :)

Here is the story of how Wesley Jameson came into the world...

I woke up on 8/21 for my scheduled c-section at 6am. I needed to get myself ready and pack my hospital bag and make sure the house was somewhat clean, not to mention I also wanted to spend a little time with Cailin before leaving for the hospital. Everything went very smoothly that morning, I got up, showered, packed my bag, put on makeup and did my hair, and was done in under an hour. Apparently I can get ready quickly when I'm excited. Dan got up around 6:30 and did the dishes that were around and also got ready. Around 7 I woke Cailin up and sat her on my lap and cuddled her while she drank her morning sippy of milk. Dan's mom soon arrived and played with Cailin while we tied up the loose ends around the house. We were ready to go at 7:50. I had to be at the hospital at 8:30 for my 10:30 scheduled c section and we had to drop my car off at the dealership to get serviced on the way. It sounds crazy but I thought it would be a good time since I wouldnt be needing my car for a couple weeks. Luckily everything went smoothly at the dealer and we were on our way.

We got to the hospital a few minutes early so Dan and I stopped in the cafe so he could have a coffee. I was super jealous because I desperately wanted a coffee but wasn't allow to eat or drink since midnight. When it was time we nervously walked up to Labor and Delivery where we were greeted with smiles and a very nice nurse, Stacy, showed us to our room. She had me test my sugar and drew some blood and started an IV in my right hand. Right when we arrived they said they were very behind schedule because their OR for c-sections was under construction and they were given one OR on the main floor, but they usually had 2. She also said they had several c-sections ahead of me and they had a few emergencies as well.

Soon after Dr. MacDonald came in and talked to me for a while. It was reassuring since I was starting to get butterflies in my stomach. She asked me to start testing my blood sugar hourly and report it to Stacy so she could monitor it. They hooked up some fluids to my IV and then we waited.

I think Dan was more nervous than me at that point. We both hate waiting but he is especially bad at it. Sorry Dan, but you are... He evntually entertained me by playing some really annoying 90's music.

Dr. MacDonald eventually came back in and explained all the risks and had me sign some paperwork. Other doctors and nurses were in and out including the anesthesiologist. He explained that right when I got there they would do a spinal and would only give me the numbing medication. I couldn't receive anything for nausea or anxiety until after Wes was born because they didn't want him to com into contact with any medications.

We waited until around 12 then Stacy rushed in and said we were next and the OR was ready and that they were just waiting for the go ahead. Dan changed into his scrubs (hot) and they gave me a steroid and an antibiotic. I walked out into the hallway and got on a stretcher and they took me downstairs. Dan came with us for the ride in the elevator and they had him wait outside while I went in. Let the drama begin.

I walked into the OR and sat on the table and they immediately came over and prepped my back for the spinal. Thanks for the warning. The anesthesiologist was a little annoying but Stacy reassured me that everything was fine. I started crying because it was super uncomfortable and I was getting nervous. Dr. MacDonald came over and rubbed my shoulders and stayed with me while they did the spinal. Immediately I felt it take affect and my legs were going numb. Not only that but they also became paralyzed. Normal.

Once I laid down everyone was asking me questions and I started crying again because my legs were really uncomfortable and there was a lot of hustle and bustle in the room. Dan still was outside and they were getting ready to start. At this point once they were setting up I was beyond nervous. It was full blown panic attack time and there was no calming me down. My breathing started getting weird and my blood pressure was getting high. The anesthesiologist had to give me something because it was getting hard to breathe. She injected my IV with a few drugs to calm me down, which halfway worked. Dan came in and they gave me more meds. I had a clear mind but was drunk as hell. I couldn't string together a sentence even though everything made sense in my mind. My legs were so numb and felt like I didnt have any circulation and not being able to wiggle my legs or toes was really bothering me. I kept thinking of my Uncle John and got really sad about how he was paralyzed. If this was the sensation he has in his legs 24/7 I couldnt even imagine. I was beyond uncomfortable.

Once Dan came in maybe two minutes passed and suddenly I heard a loud cry. Wesley Jameson was born at 1:12pm. Dr.MacDonald must have held him over the curtain but I was still hysterical and missed it. I heard him cry for maybe a minute and kept asking for him and if he was ok. I wasn't making sense because of the drugs and eventually Dr. MacDonald understood that I was asking to see him. I was so nervous something was wrong since they didn't show him to me. He was perfect. Dr.MacDonald had the nurse pick him up and bring him over for a quick second and Dan got to go over and cut his cord. They swaddled him in a blanket and brought him over to me. Dan got to sit with me and hold him next to me for a while. A nurse came and held him on me so I could hold him too.

After 15 minutes or so Dan went with a nurse and took Wesley upstairs to labor and delivery to be weighed and get his first shots. They would meet me in recovery. It took another half hour to stitch me up and move me downstairs. I was so drugged up! They gave me several injections of anti anxiety meds plus some Zofran for nausea.

The ride in the elevator seemed like forever. When I got into recovery Dan came in with the baby in tow. He weighed 9lbs 9.2oz and was 21.5 inches long. He was a little chunk! A nurse came in and gave my some percocet, advil, tylenol, and oxycontin; all in pills. My spinal was wearing off and I started getting the feeling back in my lower body. I was having some pretty bad cramps but they were normal. Eventually I got this sharp constant pain that was beginning to be unbearable so I asked for something strong to help the pain until the pills started. Dr. MacDonald gave me Dilauded and that worked instantly. I felt warm all over and really drugged but I wasn't in any pain. I stayed in recovery for an hour or so and they moved me over to our room. I was really sore but was ok if I just laid still. My nurse came in and I immediately recognized her from when Cailin was born. She was my favorite nurse so I was super happy she was there. Andrea was so nice and reassuring when I had concerns when Cailin was born, it was nice to have her again. As soon as I told her Cailins name she remembered her, and asked if she had tons of hair. Cailin was famous in the postpartum wing. Even the nurse assistant remembered her and so did the other nurses later on.

Roberta brought Cailin over to meet Wes. Cailin hugged him and gave him kisses but she was really nervous around me. I still had and IV and a catheter and looked like a disaster and she was scared. They stayed for a little while then went home.

Everything I heard from my friends nd online said that walking was good and I should start asap. Andrea came in and I didn't think I could walk but I wanted to just stand. It was painful. She helped me back into bed and I decided that I would keep the catheter until tomorrow morning but would try walking to the bathroom later in the evening. My dad came a little later and stayed for a couple hours. Wes was so good. He hardly cried and ate really well. Once my dad left Andrea came back in and helped me walk to the bathroom and back. It was maybe 10 feet from my bed but it felt like a marathon. Getting out of bed and standing hurt but walking was ok once I was upright. Dan stayed with me in the hospital until around 10 then went home to check on Cailin and feed the cats.

10:15 rolled around and I started feeling lots of pain. I had just had meds less than an hour ago so I decided to wait a little bit and see if they kicked in. They didn't. 11pm came and I was in so much pain my teeth were chattering and I could barely see. I called in my nurse and she said they couldnt give me anything. Five minutes later I buzzed for her again and she couldsee that I was in extreme pain. I was crying hysterically and shaking. She checked my incision and felt my belly because she thought I might have something wrong. She called in a doctor immediately and they examined me. Nothing was wrong but the pain meds were not working. They gave me a ton of Dilauded again and some benedryl to calm me down and help me sleep. Since getting all the pain meds at once wasn't working they changed my drug schedule so I would be getting somthing every 3 hours. Since I was in terrible pain I sent Wesley to the nursery so I could rest an asked that they bring him back only to be fed. Come morning I felt a lot better. I was sore but the terrible pain was gone and the drugs I was supposed to be getting all along were working well. Wes only woke up at 2 and 5 that night and stayed with me from that time.

Dan came back first thing in the am. I was walking to the bathroom with the assistance of a nurse, so I got my catheter removed. Luckily halfway through the day I was able to slowly get up on my own and walk around. Later that night I felt great and started cutting down on the pain meds.


To be continued....

tomorrow is the big day.

So the title sums it up... baby M will be here tomorrow. Gulp.

I had a great appointment with my OB today. Baby M performed well on his NST and we are both in great health. My GD has all but gone away. I very rarely get high numbers and they are always in check when I eat normal food. I left my insulin at home today, accidentally, and my post breakfast number was only off by 5 points.

I am starting to get nervous about tomorrow. Again, not so much the surgery itself, but the pain afterwards and the recovery. The nurse at the dr's office assured me that they make you comfortable. I know when it comes down to it I will be a nervous disaster tomorrow. Can they give you Valium? Can I ask for that and not sound like a drug seeker? Really though. I got two, yup two, stitches in my finger after cutting it on a bread knife two years ago and almost passed out while they were being put in, AND being taken out. I can handle seeing anything terrible like that done to someone else, but when it comes to medical stuff happening to me, I am a wreck. My dentist even suggested he medicate me before ever getting a filling again. No, not novocaine, but like sedated haha. yea.

My OB reassured me that everything will be fine. She gets there at 8, and said I could come at 8/8:30. She is assisting another doctor on a c section first then its my turn. She will come in to see me first before we even leave labor and delivery. I will check in at the front desk of l&d, get set up in a room with fluids, an anesthesiologist will come in to talk to me, then I will be taken downstairs to the OR. They are getting new c-section rooms on the l&d floor and they aren't done yet so I will be having mine done on the general surgery floor. All it means is that I will have a little elevator ride. After the surgery, we will go back up to labor and delivery where I will recover then will be given my own room. I still have so many questions for her tomorrow though.

My bad is mostly packed but I will double check it tomorrow. I need to just put in toiletries and things I use daily and double check all of baby M's gear. We are also dropping my car off to get fixed before we go to the hospital since I wont be using it for a while. It is on the way and I already made an appointment anyways.

Putting Cailin to bed tonight was a little sad since I won't get to be with her for a few days and its the last time I get to put her to bed as an only child, and its the last time I get to put her to bed for a while since my incision will be healing and listing her into her crib and leaning will be difficult. I know she will be a great big sister but it will be a big adjustment for everyone. We can only hope that baby M is halfway as good a baby as Cailin was. She was perfect!

Well I have lots to do for tomorrow so I suppose I should get going on all that so I can get to bed at a decent hour.

Cailin turns 14 months, 39 weeks prego, and a baby in 2 days!

Cailin turned 14 months old yesterday! Ummmmm where is the time going? Cailin is a walking machine now. It is her only mode of transportation, she is exclusively walking. She started walking a few steps at a time around 13 months then one day she just took off! She walks at daycare and plays with the bigger kids. It is so great seeing her be so social. She loves it there and the kids are super nice to her.

Cailin is turning into such a big girl! She also dropped her morning nap, and now only takes nap from 12:30/1- 3/3:30. She also goes to bed later and sleeps a little later (thankfully). Since she has started walking she eats way more than she used to. Her taste for food has also gotten a little better and we have moved away from bread and hummus. She loves burgers, spaghetti, corn, cantaloupe, raisins, and watermelon. She also tried pork marsala and loved that too.

I took her to the New England Aquarium earlier today as a little mommy/daughter date. She LOVED it. Her favorite part was looking at the seals and the fish in the big tank. Since Cailin is under 3, she got in for free. I got in for free as well with my AFT card and a pay stub which was nice because the ticket was almost $25! After walking through the whole aquarium, we visited the gift shop. I let Cailin pick out a toy and she chose a book about baby penguins. Yup. A book. I tried to get her to like a stuffed animal but she didnt want anything to do with them.

Yesterday, Cailin had her first gross toddler moment. She somehow got a major wedgie with her diaper and when she pooped, it wound up on the floor. I didnt see it happen, but this is what the evidence supports.... After it fell on the floor, she grabbed one, and put it in her mouth. YUP. GAG ME! I immediately picked up the droppings and washed her hand and mouth. I then called her pediatrician to ask if she could get sick from it. Luckily it wasnt her doctor on call (embarrassing!) and the doctor said she should be fine since it was her own poop. UGH. Why me?

In addition to Cailin turning 14 months old yesterday, I turned 39 weeks pregnant! I was bale to get away for a couple hours on Saturday and get a prenatal massage. Oh my god was it good! I feel so much better since getting it, I regret not getting one sooner! My back feels better and the swelling in my feet totally went away.

We have 2 days until baby M arrives and I am getting the last minute things ready. I need to make sure all of his things have new batteries as well as changing them in a couple of Cailin's toys. I also need to take a few things out of his room and vacuum. I am going to wait to pack my hospital bag (just the last minute things) until the morning we leave. So far the only thing I ma nervous about is the pain afterwards. I didnt get enough for pain relief after Cailin was born so I hope it isnt the same this time. My c section is scheduled for 10:30 so we need to be at the hospital around 8:30/9.

I have my last prenatal appointment with Dr. MacDonald tomorrow and will also have my last NST. She has been great throughout both pregnancies I am almost going to miss going to the office weekly. Everyone has been great there I don't have a single complaint about my care. Every time I go, I am always greeted with a smile and treated well. All of the staff take my questions and concerns seriously, no matter how foolish or serious they are. I also feel really lucky that my own doctor is going to be doing the surgery. (Unless I go into labor in the next 46 hours. Fingers crossed that DOES NOT happen!)

I am so excited to meet baby M and see what he is like. Will he look like Cailin? Will he have tons of hair? How much will he weigh and how long will he be? Is he a cryer or quiet? Will he be good with bottles? Even though I am very excited to welcome him into our family, I will also miss being pregnant and feeling him move inside me all the time.

Roberta is coming over the morning of the c section and will be watching Cailin for a few days while I am in the hospital. That way once I am in my own room she can bring Cailin for a short visit. I don't think we will be having any visitors other than our parents and Cailin the day of the c section since I will be in pain. The next day we will play it by ear and see what happens. I really want visitors but I don't want to be in extreme pain while trying to entertain people.

I cant believe that in 2 days our family will be complete! The FOUR of us will be together!

7 days left and counting!

We have exactly one week left until little baby boy M arrives! I cannot wait!

Cailin's godmother took Cailin for 4 whole nights (thanks Val and Roberta!) which was really nice so me and Dan could celebrate our anniversary and I could rest. The rest was very much needed.

So we had another little labor and delivery scare on Sunday. Me and Dan hung out all day and all day I had a terrible headache. I didnt think anything of it but it suddenly got really bad and since I needed to go to cvs anyways I thought I would check my blood pressure. It was way high! I called the doctor on call and she told me to come in and she would run some tests to check for pre-eclampsia. I had been having minor non-painful contractions all day (really for the past couple weeks) but once I was hooked up to the monitor they got worse and very painful. My doctor wasn't there so I was seen by Dr. Hotchkiss who was very nice. All of my labs came back normal and I did not have pre-e so they monitored me for a while. She thought I was dehydrated so they pumped two bags of fluid into me and laid me on my side and the contractions started to get less painful and eventually went away. They gave me some pain meds for the headache and that got better as well. So basically I was dehydrated. I was sent home after a few hours and was told to rest and take it easy.

My contractions continued into Sunday night/monday but eventually went away as well as the headache. I still get a tiny headache once in a while but after my regular OB appointment showed my blood pressure was good I am not worried. I have been trying to drink more than usual and while it has helped my headache isnt totally gone. It just looks like this last week will be a bit uncomfortable and long but in just 7 days we will be meeting baby M!

I am so excited to meet our baby boy that I know all of the pain and suffering I had to go through during pregnancy will all be worth it. Not to mention the minute after baby comes out you feel instantly better from all of the aches and pains you had while pregnant.

I am picking Cailin up this afternoon and I cannot wait to see her. While it was great having a little break to rest and get ready for baby M, I still miss her tons! Oh, did I tell you Cailin got injure last Sat?! UGH! Cailin and I were playing in her room and she was walking around. She stepped on her boppy pillow to get over it and fell hitting her mouth on the metal part of her jumperoo. Her teeth cut her lip open and there was blood all over. She got a terrible cut on the inside of her mouth and a minor one on the outside. It was scary. She screamed a lot and cried really hard all while blood was gushing out of her mouth. I thought we were looking at an er visit for sure. I called Dan to come home and he was here in 5 minutes. I took off her shirt and held her mouth for a little while and it was just stopping as he came home. She also cheered up when she saw him too. After that she was in a sad mood for a while until we left and she fell asleep in the car. Her mouth was swollen for a while. (P.S. why is it that bleeding always happens on white shirts?)

In other news she finally got in her other top molar and her bottom tooth. Now she has 10 teeth total.

I have my last ultrasound on Friday then another OB appointment on Tuesday then we meet baby boy!

37 weeks and an ob scare

We have just about 2 weeks until our scheduled c section date. I can't wait to meet baby M and see what he is like. Will he look like me? or Dan? Both? Will he and Cailin look alike? Will he be quiet? Fussy? Be a good sleeper?

I had my 37 week appointment today and that was an adventure. First, my group B strep was negative. good. Then I went for my NST which was eventful. Baby M was showing off and was being super active. His heart rate was all over. The Dr. said this is usually normal but sent me to the hospital after one deceleration that went lower than it should have. Long story short, I am having tiny contractions and baby M is fine. I was monitored for about an hour and everything checked out fine. His heart rate stayed consistent and the contractions went away. (Not that I could feel them anyways). Basically the hospital has a way better NST machine than the dr's office and she wanted to be sure everything was ok. I need to go back on Friday for my BPP ultrasound and they will also get a weight estimate on baby M.

His nursery is just about all set. I need to clear out a few last minute items and we will be ready. I also packed my hospital bag with my and baby M's things. I put in the monogrammed onesie, blanket and hat I got him along with some pajamas with my essentials. I packed a pair of yoga pants and a tshirt since I will probably be sore when I leave. I am not realy nervous for the procedure itself but more so for the recovery time. Dan will be staying home for as long as I need but I still worry that Cailin will be upset that I wont be with her the whole time like I have been. I won't be able to bathe her or put her in bed or pick her up for a little while. I think it will be an adjustment for her to get used to baby M but I think that will be fine. I hope I recover fairly quickly and Im not in terrible pain when I go home. I mean, I know I will have some level of pain but I don't want to be bed ridden for a month.

Any guesses on baby M's weight for this friday?

fun fun fun and a c section date!

We have been super busy for the past few days and over the weekend.

Dan's mom took Cailin for a few days when Val first arrived. Me and Dan were baby free for a couple of days which was great. We got the change to really get some cleaning done and we also got rid of a bunch of crap around the house. I have a load of electronic recyclables to go and a ton of Cailin's clothes to be consigned. We already took a bunch to the consignment store in Belmont and they took some things but I also go to the Billerica one because they take a lot too.

We got to go to one of our favorite restaurants, The Talk. It has great food and drinks (which I have never experienced) and a nice atmosphere. It was really nice to get to spend some time together, just the two of us, especially since pretty soon it will be the FOUR of us! (we got our c section date! read on)

Saturday we did some serious cleaning and went to East Sandwich to stay with Val for the rest of the weekend. Cailin and Roberta met us there. Val had a little dinner for us and we had lobster, steamers, and a bunch f food. We all know that I am a huge lobster and steamers fan, it is my favorite meal EVER. We spent the night talking and gabbing with Mike, Val and Roberta. Cailin did a great job sleeping in a new place. She also slept in her pack and play which I was nervous about since she doesn't usually sleep in it. She has her own crib at Robertas and hasnt slept in it overnight for months. It took her a bit longer than usual to fall asleep but she did and she slept all night with one minor wake up to find a lost binky.

Sunday we woke up around 7 and started our day. Val took Cailin for a walk and Dan cooked everyone breakfast. Later we went to the beach (which Cailin hated) and then to a little river where Cailin waded and played in the water. She was pretty exhasusted after lunch which was when we decide to take off to avoid the heavy cape traffic. It was good that we left then because it was pretty busy on the roads. After we got home we went to the spray park and played with Cailin for the rest of the day.

So I got a call from my OB's office a little while ago and our c-section is scheduled for August 21 at 10:30 am! AAAAHHHHH! I can't believe than in 22 days we will be a family of 4! I am so excited they were able to book it on August 21 because that means Dr. MacDonald will be doing the delivery! I think I am even more excited for that haha! Baby M can always decide that he wants to come earlier but judging on how Cailin was born right before her due date, I think we will be set for the 21st. I have my weekly appointment with Dr. MacDonald tomorrow and my BPP on Friday. Cailin will be going to daycare on both days. I also have to finalize my plans for the substitute. oops.

ob and NST

I had my 35 weeks Ob appt and NST today and baby M is still doing well! He was dancing up a storm during my NSt, what a show off! His heart rates were good and I was not having any contractions at the time. Of course, right?1 It figures that when I am at the office I am contraction free but other times I have bad ones haha!

Next week I get the group b strep test. Fun fun at the Ob! (sarcastic undertone was huge there).

So I was supposed to get my c-section date today but it wasn't ready. WTF! I hate waiting but what can I do? The secretary submitted two dates to the hospital last week and Dr. MacDonald wants it to be when she is there and we are just waiting for a reply. They will call when they hear back or I will get it next week.

Since my body has been gearing up for labor lately my doc said if I do happen to go into labor before the scheduled c-section I will still have to have the c-section. UGH. I was hoping that if I went into labor before 38 weeks we could just go with the flow but when you take insulin your blood sugars can get crazy during labor and she doesn't want to risk me passing out because I have low blood sugar during labor. Eating would help but judging on how I practically barfed all over the place once contractions began, I am going to trust her judgement.

Speaking of nausea, I feel sick off and on lately. My OB says morning sickness can return if you had it in the first trimester, especially if it was moderate. Anyone else remember how sick I felt then? It seems like forever ago but I had some nast morning sickness until I was about 20 weeks pregnant.

I have my appointment with the MFM and my BPP on Friday. I love seeing my big boy on screen!

At my appointment today, and like always, my OB asked me about the baby's movement. I said he always worries me because he doesn't move all that much, especially compared to Cailin. She said it was totally normal as long as I was feeling movement that was normal for this baby. He does usually move when I really concentrate hard and lay on my left side. She then added that with her babies one of them moved a lot and was rather feisty in utero and the other was more lazy and laid back and they remained that way as children and teens (her kids are like 16/17 or something). One of them is the more academic one while the other is very very athletic and he was that way in utero, that he was the one who moved around more. I really enjoy that she has little stories like this, and shares them once in a while. I hear so many people complain about their pregnancies or they are so obsessed with them, that they seem so foreign.

I didn't want to go off on a little tangent but I am going to anyways. Why do people automatically assume that Cailin and Baby M were "accidents"? Is it because me and Dan are both youngish? Is it because we haven't been married very long? Is it because they are close in age? I really don't get it! Poeple have even asked me if I was pregnant before we got married. (umm, first you are a frigging idiot if you think that because we got married in August, and she was born and was due in June. It would add up that I was not pregnant at my wedding. Second, it isn't your business.)

 We can set the record straight about both pregnancies here and now. Before we got married we talked about having children and we both agreed that we wanted to be done having kids before I was 30. We had 5 years to get pregnant and have babies. After talking about it we decided that since it takes an average couple 6-12 months of solid "trying" to get pregnant to conceive that we would start that path especially since it was possible that it would take longer than we wanted for it to happen. We were very lucky that we got pregnant instantly. When I say instantly, I mean, now you can do the math, it happened quickly, Cailin was planned. It was a surprise she came along so quickly, but she was indeed planned. Now as far as baby M goes, people ask me about him all the time (including some certain people I see medically, not to mention any specific ass-hole diabetes nurses I see at Mt. Auburn Hospital) if he was planned. Again, yes he was.

As just about everyone knows, I am an only child and hate every second of it. I hated it as a child and I hate it now as well. My parents wanted only one child so they could give me everything they didn't have and I am not faulting them for that. I am happy with the way I was raised, and I got everything I could have ever wanted. I was loved and provided for in every way. The only thing I miss is a sibling. I never had that permanent friend that all of my friends and cousins had. Sure I had friends who did not like their brothers and sisters but they still had that bond. I never got to experience that and it is something I really am lacking. As a kid I always wanted someone to play with. While I had friends it wasnt the same. Now that I am an adult I miss having a sibling to be good friends with and raise kids together. I also feel bad that Cailin and baby M will not have any family members close in age because I dont have any siblings myself. Dan is more or less in the same boat since he and his brother are far apart in age.

Getting back to baby M's pregnancy, yes he was planned. Like Cailin he came very quickly as well. Since me and Dan dont have siblings or are very far apart in age from our siblings we wanted our children to be as close as possible, especially in school. In order for them to be a year apart in school I had 4 solid months to get pregnant and since I was nursing Cailin the odds of that happening were low. It seems like our master plan was set from the beginning since we conceived baby M while I was nursing and that he would be one grade behind Cailin in school. We got pregnant with him at the last possible second, since his original due date was August 27, then was moved to August 25. (He had to be born on or before august 31 to be a year apart from Cailin in school). Now he will arrive around or before August 18.

So to sum up a lengthy blog post, baby M is doing well, I am doing well, and Cailin and baby M were both planned and were not "accidents". Cailin's god-parents, Val and Mike are here for over a month form Arizona and we will be busy with them this weekend so I don't know if I will have a spare moment to update on Friday's NST and the c-section date until next week. I will be sure to keep y'all in the loop about those things plus our busy weekend when I can!

Cailin is 13 months and Baby M's latest u/s

Pretty princess Cailin turned 13 months old yesterday! I still can't believe she is 1, let alone 13 whole months. Seriously, where is the time going? Cailin has started walking. She isn't very good at it and can only take a few steps at a time but she is doing it. Today was her best day yet. She was walking all over and has even started letting me hold her hands and walk. I love it! She looks so cute and I am so proud of the progress she is making.

She is gabbing up a storm, but hasn't *officially* said any real words yet. I could have sworn she said hello after I asked her to but she only did it once and wouldn't do it again. I know she will get there soon. 

I had my NST and BPP this week and Baby M is doing well. He is around 7lbs 5oz. The maternal fetal medicine specialist, Dr. Ralston, thinks he will be around 10 lbs at full term. Since I am having a c-section around 39 weeks, he will be around 9.5 lbs. I get the exact date on Wednesday and I cannot wait. Fingers crossed that Dr. MacDonald does the procedure because I will be a disaster if it is someone else!

Baby M will be coming around Aug 18.

So you read that correctly, baby M will be making an early entrance. I am 40 weeks on August 25, but will be having a planned c-section around August 18 once I reach the 39 week area. Dr. MacDonald made this decision for me for several reasons, and I agree with all of them. 1. Cailin was a big baby. 2. I have GD. 3. This baby is already massive. 4. Cailin's birth had many complications. 5. Letting me go past 40 weeks could be dangerous to the placenta due to the GD. I know this is for the best even though it is a really big and scary decision. I will need a lot more recovery time and being with Cailin will be hard since she is so young. Dan's mom and Aunt Val will be around to help and Dan will be taking some time off from work.

The c-section itself doesn't really scare me. While it does pose more risks than a vginal birth, they are still minimal. What I am most upset about is not getting to spend the quality time ith baby M right when he is born, which I was also robbed of when Cailin was born. When Cailin was born her shoulder dystocia and the cord around her neck, along with her decelerations in her heart rate right before birth prompted a nicu team to be in the room. The took her over to the exam table instantly. I didnt get to hold her until she was 10 minutes old. I really missed being passed a slippery newborn and having the dr put her directly on my chest for instant skin to skin contact time. Dan never got to cut her cord either.  I had been really looking forward to those first moments and I never got to have them. This time it will be the same. No skin to skin, no slippery baby, no cord cutting. Instead I will be passed a well cleaned bundle who is already wrapped in a blanket and who has already seen the pediatrician. I could ask for them to not clean him off but it will take 40 minutes to clean me up and send me to recovery before I could see him. It is just too long. Dan will be with him from the second he is born and will go with him to be evaluated and get his first bath, just like he did with Cailin.

I am a little nervous about the pain management because we all know that I am a pain wimp. I can't handle anything. I know I will get either a spinal block or epidural during the c-section, so I know I will be all set there, but it is after that I am more worried about. Simple Percocet won't do the trick. They gave me that, after some begging, when Cailin was born and it was a joke. If it can't dull the pain of a vaginal birth, than I can imagine it would be like taking one tylenol for a migraine. Nothing. I am lucky to have a friend who has already had a c-section before and she said she received dilauded and that worked well. I hate asking for drugs but I will do what I have to. Hopefully they give me some valium and zofran because I can already see myself being a friggin disaster.

In the end, I know attempting a vaginal birth will be too risky at full term. If I go into labor around 37 weeks they will do an ultrasound first to measure him and then assess the situation. 38 weeks plus will require a c-section. It is a difficult decision to deal with but I know it is the right one. I trust Dr. MacDonald and this is what she thinks it best. Let's all hope she is going to be the one to do the procedure. If she isn't I willbe sure to be a nervous wreck for the whole ordeal.

Next Wednesday we will have a date and I will know who will be doing the procedure. Fingers crossed for Dr. MacDonald!

33 week dr's update

So It's friday and I have had all of my pregnancy appointments for the week. Yesterday's OB appointment and NST went well. Baby was sleeping at first so Dr. MacDonald gave me some M&Ms to wake him up. It did the trick. He squirmed away after that and everything checked out fine. Dr. MacDonald and I discussed the birth a little and we are definite that he will be delivered around 39 weeks one way or another. We want to wait and see what his weight and size looks like around 36 weeks to make our final decision. In all honesty I really think this will end in a c-section and I would be ok with that decision. I ultimately want what is best for the baby and me and that could be the best route. The MFM I saw today is already sold on a c-section so I might walk into my OB appointment Tuesday with Dr. MacDonald having already decided a c-section is best. He was measuring big, around 6lbs 10oz, which is in the 78th percentile. Not massive, but a bit big for his gestation.

The diabetes has been almost under control for a while. My diet is good and all of my post meal numbers are good. The only number that isn't is the fasting number. This means it is not diet induced and is instead due to hormones. I will be increasing my insulin daily until we reach a dosage that can control the fasting number.

One thing I want to sort of gripe about is people's attitude towards this whole situation. First, Cailin was a big baby and had shoulder dystocia which already means I am at risk of having a big baby again. She was perfectly healthy and I did not have GD. I have a longer than average torso so naturally Cailin was big. Dan was a big baby as well. Second, I do not have GD because I eat crap all day. A typical days food consists of yogurt, eggs, salad, chicken, and veggies. I don't eat sweets. I don't eat processed foods. I only eat proteins and healthy veggies. I am overweight I know, but that does not cause diabetes. Third, the GD is being caused by a medication I am on for Colitis. I was not on this medication when I was pregnant with Cailin. Unfortunately when I was around 15 weeks pregnant they discontinued the medication I was on, I tried going on through the pregnancy without medication but that didn't go well. I tried another pregnancy and breastfeeding safe medication but it gave me a terrible headache. My doctor didn;t want to fool around with medications while I was pregnant so she put me on this current medication when I was around 22 weeks pregnant. It works and is safe for the baby too. I can take it during pregnancy but once I deliver I will be experimenting with other drugs to find one that works that I can take long term. This mean I cannot breastfeed. Again, not my decision.

All of this adds up to me having GD and not being able to breastfeed. I know breast is best and that is why Cailin was breastfed for 4 months. Some of my friends and family act like I am causing all of this. I am not. I cannot willfully control my colitis and I cannot control the gestational diabetes. When I tell people that I have GD they often tell me I need to watch my diet. I know I do, and I am. I am also guilty of looking at people and thinking that diabetes is caused excluseively by poor diet, but its not. There are several factors and when it comes down to it, anyone can get it. If I had my way I wouldn't be living with Colitis and I wouldn't put my baby at risk and have GD. This things are not my fault, and I know that whole heartedly, but I can't help but get upset when people act like I am doing this to myself. Luckily my doctors know the background and that I am not at the root of these problems. My friends and family need to follow. I don;t want a c-section, I dont want to have colitis, and I don;t want GD.

33 weeks

So Sunday marks 33 weeks pregnant. I can't believe we are already getting to the final stretch and boy am I ready! Dan and I have been slowly putting together baby boy's room. His changing table is set up, I washed two loads of baby clothes and folded them, and we bought the crib. Dan should be setting that up this weekend. We also went and bought some diapers and wipes the other day. I got tons of diapers from friends at work so we have a lot of what we need already. Oddly enough we got so much shampoo and baby wash at Cailin's shower we are all set in that department too.

I have been feeling ok since leaving school. I still get tons of contractions both real and BH. The real ones only last for an hour but are still unsettling. I went to my OB once for them and she ran some tests and it wasn't labor and said I would just have to deal with them.

Since the GD diagnosis I have had more and more appointments. I have been taking insulin before bed which regulates my fasting number and has been working for the past two days. I also just started taking insulin before breakfast and that has also helped the last two days as well. My diet is great, I eat tons of veggies and protein and very little carbs. My dietician thinks the GD is purely hormone related but I still find it very very frustrating. Even though I keep a good diet my levels are high at random points. I now have three appointments a week: my regular OB, an U/S, and an NST/appointment with an MFM. The MFM is nice and I have seen him before when I had placenta previa. This weeks OB appointment is on thursday and it is a rather big appointment. The u/s last week showed baby was healthy but already large. Measuring 5lbs 12 oz, she was already talking about deciding to do a c-section since Cailin was large and had a scary delivery. Adding the GD to the mix creates another level of risk to the delivery. I am not very fond of having a c section but I would rather have that then have another scary delivery like Cailin's. I put the decision into her hands since I don't think I can make the right one. Either way, the second 37 weeks rolls around I will be giving this baby an eviction notice and will be doing everything and anything to get him out. This can also help me avoid a section.

Dan and I are having a terrible time coming up with names. We have two that we have been playing with but Im not super fond of either.

Cailin has made the switch to sippy cups and is doing ok with them. She doesnt like to drink much when she eats but she still downs 3 8oz bottles a day. She is also starting to walk a bit but only a couple of steps at a time. I dont want to pressure her but it is a goal of mine to have her walking within the next 6 weeks so she is mobile before the baby comes home! My poor girl has some sort of virus right now and is a little sick. She doesnt want to eat much and has had a fever for 2 days. Hopefully she will wake up fine tomorrow. I did go out and get some pedialite and more tylenol and advil for her just in case.

Cailin's 1 year check up

Since my missy turned a year old 10 days ago we had her 1 year check-up today. She is in good health (despite the cold she is getting rid of)! Developmentally she is right on track, and is very ahead in fine motor. She is on par with gross motor, and a little behind but so much that it is a concern with verbal. She knows tons of words and commands but just doesn't say anything yet. Dr. Mahony heard her babbling away and was impressed with her sounds haha. Cailin had to get the MMR and Varicella vaccines, and handled those ok. She was already in a terrible traumatized mood from the lead and anemia test they run by pricking their finger and squeezing a lot of blood from it. It was terrible and the nurse was slow as hell. Her finger bled for a long time and is sensitive.

Cailin measured 30.5 inches long (90th percentile) and weighed 20.14 lbs (62nd percentile). My baby is tall and thin!

6/26

I know, the title of this entry seems plain but yesterday was pretty eventful.

I started off my day by bringing Cailin to daycare per usual. I had enough time to stop by Starbucks on my way to the last day of school and got a grande hazelnut machiatto (my fav) and an oatmeal. As far as last days of school go it was pretty uneventful. My three classes went smoothly, we all watched Daddy Daycare (hilarious) and the kids helped me clean up my room. They still don't know who my substitute will be for next year which somewhat worries me. I hope it is someone competent and won't set the kids back. I have worked hard to get them to where they are with theory and singing and it would be a shame for them to have to re-learn a bunch when I get back. It would also really suck if the sub doesnt do all of the necessary assessments and I a stuck trying to cram for the two weeks I will be there during that term. Oh well, it is out of my hands at this point.

After work many of us headed to a co-workers house for a cookout. It was really nice to end the year on such a positive note and see all my teacher friends before parting ways for the summer. I am sure I will see some of them before I come back in November.

I made an early exit from the cookout to head to my OB for a routine appointment. Baby M had a good heartbeat and was super active. We saw him squirming all over when my OB was getting his heartbeat. It was a really important appointment because it followed my diagnosis of Gestational Diabetes and we had a lot to discuss. In general, my sugar numbers have been good except for my fasting number. It is consistently high. My OB wants me to go back and see the diabetic counselor to *most likely* get me going on insulin. My other numbers are good but the fasting number is bad because I take my medicine (which is causing this) right before bed. The fasting number should be around 70-90 and mine is susally 100-105. Not too high but high enough that it could cause the baby to be huge, and judging on how big Cailin was when I didnt have GD, this one will be massive. My OB and I discussed delivery options. I will either be induced at 39 weeks or I will get a c-section. She gave me the option of getting a c-section and choosing it now but I want to wait and see how big baby M is before we make our decision. We will be making a final decision at 36 weeks. I wish I could be induced at 38 weeks, I think that will be early enough that he won't be gigantic. I do have to try really hard with the diet they gave me to keep my levels normal. I really can't stand the diabetic counselor either. She was a douche when I met her last time. I can't stand it when people think that because I am fat I must be eating a lot of sweets and white bread/carbs. I don't. I literally never eat white bread unless I am served it in a restaurant. I consider plain wheat to be the junk food of breads since we always get multigrain. As far as sweets goes, we don;t keep them in the house and I eat it approx. once a week, if that. I had some cake on Cailin's birthday last week and that was it. I am not a fat ass who eats bullshit day in and day out. Some of my weight is from diet, and some is also from genetics. I digress, but it really pisses me off that a professional would just judge someone like that. I even have been writing down what I eat so she can see that I don't eat cupcakes as meals or drink sugar. My OB is having me come weekly now since I am considered high risk. I also have an ultrasound next week to check on baby M's growth. Surprise! I also have to see the stupid diabetic counselor to get insulin. Thank god I only have 6 1/2-7 weeks left of this pregnancy so I never have to see her again. Just talking about her is making my blood boil.

Cailin has been miserable starting yesterday. She had a little fever Tuesday and a cough. She still has a little cough but she is more or less ok. I think it might even be from teething because she popped a tooth on the bottom about 6 days ago and while at the grocery store I noticed her cheek looked bruised so I opened her mouth and behold a molar! She has been picking at her mouth and drooling ridiculously so I thought that was the case but didn't think they would appear so soon. Cailin has a routine visit tomorrow for her 1 yr check up so I will have the doc look in her mouth to make sure the molar looks good and see if there are any more coming. She won't let me near her mouth usually so it is hard to check.

I have an appointment with her pediatrician next Tuesday to discuss everything about baby M. I won't be breastfeeding this time around because of the medicine I am on so I kind of don't know what to do about formula for a newborn. I also want to discuss the GD and its side affects on baby M.

So all in all next week is a week of appointments, four of them. I was going to try to visit a friend in NYC but it seems impossible now. I have three appointments on Tuesday and one on Wednesday. I will be sure to update everyone on Tuesday. Wednesday is the Ultrasound and I will hopefully have pictures.

Cailin turned 1!

Cailin's first birthday was weds and we celebrated with friends and family yesterday! I cannot believe my baby girl is already 1!

She had a great time at her party yesterday. She played in the water, ate a bunch of cake, and got some new toys and clothes. She also got to see lots of family and friends she hasn't seen in a while.

We celebrated at the Belmont Spray deck which is a cool little water park for kids under 6. Dan and I showed up early and claimed two picnic tables near the spray area and set up the grill and all the party supplies. Soon after Cailin arrived with Val and Roberta and guests started showingup. I was really lucky to be able to see my friend Dana who came up from NYC for the event. I also got to see Aimee who is moving down south next week. My circle of girlfriends has slowly dispersed since grad school and it was nice to see them. Hopefully the four of us will reunite in October for Betsy's wedding!

Cailin started out the festivities by playing in the water, which was a big accomplishment for her. She had been scared of it for a little while. Don't get me wrong, she loves taking a bath every night but hates the iddie pool and the water park, but luckily not anymore. She loved the water and had a lot of fun splashing around.

After some water time she got passed around from person to person and then ate lunch. She ate tons of fruit (shocker) and even tried some sausage and pasta salad and ate some of each. Then came more playing.

Cailin had a mini birthday party at daycare and she was scared when they sang to her during cake time, she handled it a lot better this time! Dan held her while we all sang. I blew the candle out for her and gave her a big piece of cake. She devoured it! It was a complete mess!

Cailin got tons of great gifts! Dana got her some pajamas, which were super ute and much needed! Aimee got her a red sox outfit and a blanket she knitted herself, Cailin loves blankies! Rhonda and Val both got her a bunch of clothes. My dad got her a really nice Bitty Baby doll from American Girl and she is totally in love with it. We took it out of the box and she hugged it and kept playing with it! (Thank God she didnt just toss it! It makes me think she might be really nice to her little bro when he arrives!). Cailin's friend Leo from daycare came and he had a blast playing in the water. She has tons of boyfriends already! 

All in all the day was a huge success and we had one tired girl at the end of it all!

30 weeks

It's father's day and I am 30 weeks pregnant today!

Cailin and I got Dan some polo's and a nice bottle of Scotch. He also got a nice bottle of red wine and we got a sitter and went out for dinner last night. It was nice to get away for the evening. Dan spent some QT with Cailin today and took her on a bike ride. She loves the trailer.

In other news, I am 30 weeks pregnant today. I can't believe I still have 10 weeks left, but I know these 10 weeks will go by fast. So I had my glucose test last week and failed that so my OB sent me to take the glucose tolerance test and I failed that too. It surprised me a little because my weight gain is significantly less than with Cailin and I don't go around drinking regular soda and eating cookies all day. Seriously though, I am 15 lbs behind where I was with Cailin at this point in my pregnancy. I guess sometimes you can just get it. I have been paying special attention to not eating any sweets since finding out I have Gestational Diabetes. I have an appointment on Wednesday with a specialist to set me up with a glucometer and diet. I had to move Cailin's well-visit to the following friday to make room for my appointment since I had to go in asap. I also started seeing my OB every 2 weeks and I have another appointment next Weds, (which is also the last day of school, thank god.)

Cailin turns 1 on Tuesday and her party is Saturday! WHAT!?!?!? I cannot believe she is going to be 1 in two days! My baby is no longer a baby anymore!

Cailin's first ear infection

The last two weeks have been hell as far as Cailin being sick. She first got a serious diaper rash that made her bum peel. It was pretty rough looking but she handled that like a champ and after a quick dr viit we were off with a specially made paste that cleared it up in two days. She still has one red mark but I think its a little scar. Her bum was raw!

A week later she got conjunctivitis. Yup, ew. But I did learn that conjunctivitis isnt from touching your eye after touching your ass. Well, first, Cailin can't really reach her ass and second the dr said it can be allergic, bacterial, or viral. Hers wasn't bad and it cleared up in 5 days with the antibiotic eye drops. Hers came from daycare, we found out, where two other kids got diagnosed the same day.

Then last Thursday she got croup. Croup is a virus that causes a deep, seal like cough. Hers sounded aweful but it cleared up as quick as it came. After a late-night call to the dr, she told us to crank her humidifier and bring her into the cold night air if she was wheezing. Luckily she wasn't and the cough was gone in 3 days.

We had 3 days of no sickness then came a random wet cough and slightly runny nose. Then the high fever. She was over my mother in laws and was miserable. She had a fever of 102.6 and that was with Tylenol. I was going to bring her to the grocery store with me but decided last minute she needed to see a dr since she hasn't had a fever that high in months. I am glad I did. I was really late but her dr waited for us. (Have I ever said how much I love her pediatrician?) She listened to her lungs for a while and was originally concerned she might have pneumonia. Thankfully her lungs were clear. She look in her left ear, nada. Then the right and bingo. She said it was super swollen and she had an ear infection. That was what was causing the fever, cough, and runny nose. Not to mention, she was absolutely miserable which is very rare for her. Actually, I don;t remember a time where she has been this upset. She cried off and on all day, even when she would play she would randomly stop and just cry. Another kid at daycare just got diagnosed with strep so the dr checked her throat which was fine. She gave us a 10 day round of amoxicillin and off we were. I brought her home and asked Dan to pick it up on his way home. Cailin struggled with dinner and was ready for bed around 6. I had her tough it out until 630 and gave her a bath. She handled that very well. I gave her a dose of infants Advil and her antibiotics and tried giving her a bottle. She wouldn't take it. I tried again after letting her rest a minute, and she still wouldn't drink. She did have dinner not too long before so I thought either her ear was bothering her or she just wasn't hungry. I put her in to sleep, and she fell asleep immediately. But in a half hour she woke up screaming. She stopped, then started again. I went in and picked her up and she continued to cry. Me and Dan tried comforting her to no avail. She was in so much pain. Bring on the evening of hell. She cried for an hour or so and I tried giving her the bottle again. She drank just about all of it and I let her cuddle with me in the bed for a while. She cried for another half hour or so, and eventually, after a little meltdown of my own, she fell asleep in my arms. I tried bringing her to her crib but she awoke. She was super tired but it still took her about a half an hour of whimpering to fall asleep. We were all emotionally exhausted. Dan handles her crying very well, I, on the other hand, don't. It really gets to me. That was the first time I haven't been able to comfort her. Even when she was a newborn the longest she ever cried was maybe 10 minutes straight, and that is the absolute longest. She never cries. She can go a few days without shedding a tear. She does get whiney and upset, but all out cry? It is very rare.

She woke up early this am and looked exhausted. I fed her a bottle, which she didn't drink, and gave her more Advil and her antibiotics. She was ready for another nap in about an hour. Since she didnt want to drink, I gave her some toast. She cried a little then went for her am nap at 7:30. Luckily she woke up in a decent mood and looked well rested. I gave her a bottle, which she did drink. Then she played like any other day. She ate a decent lunch and had some cow milk and water and I just put her down for her afternoon nap. She is a bit off schedule from last night but I think the antibiotics are already working. Hopefully tomorrow she will be well enough to go to daycare and is in tip top shape.  want my smiling baby back!

my little princess is 11 months old!

11 months old? say it ain't so! My cutie baby is almost a toddler!


Cailin turned 11 months today. She is such an amazing little baby, but she isn't so little anymore! She is super tall and starting to get a bit chubby again. (After 4 colds and a bad stomach bug when she was 7 months old she didnt gain much weight at all. Cailin loves fruit especially bananas and watermelon. She tried raspberries yesterday and hated that too. Like really hated it. To the point where she took it out of her mouth and gave it to me. She likes purees veggies and loves baked sweet potatos and pumpkin. Still trying to get her to eat more veggies other than those but at least she does like some. Cailin LOVES bread and hummus, its her favorite. Meat is on her list of dislikes, just about all kinds. She can tolerate a meatball, turkey or beef, but that is about it.

Cailin still has not mastered a sippy cup. She is getting better at it and wants to do it but she doesnt know how to tip it so she can drink form it. Straws are a total no go, she has no clue. If I hold it for her she gets it a little. She likes cow milk from it, which we tried yesterday, and juice (shame on me). Once in a while she will drink some water.

I keep trying to think of a really good birthday gift but am sort of out of ideas. I think I want to get her a doll, a little car, or a princess duplo block set. I am already buying her a red fleece blanket from LLbean with her name embroidered in it since she loves her red fleece jacket and vest.

Her birthday party plans are well underway and I am handing out invites at daycare on Monday and making the facebook event today. I am still trying to decide if I am going to make or buy a cake. I realy want to make one but I think buying one might be easier, especially since I dont have a frosting tube. Might be a good investment though since we will have many birthdays and celebrations along the way.

My first Mother's Day

This past Sunday was Mother's Day and it was my first!

Dan woke up with Cailin so I got to sleep in (yea, right). I laid in bed awake, I somehow lost the ability to sleep in when I was pregnant with Cailin.

I played with Cailin in the am and Dan went and gathered my gifts. He brought in a groupon to a breakfast place and some mascara. He tried to act like that was all he got me but I saw a suspicious jewelry box he hid inside a shark puppet he gave to Cailin. I took it and inside were diamond and white gold earrings! WHAT!? I have never got such a gift! I have wanted diamond studs for a while now and frankly never expected to get them. I was so surprised and I haven't taken them off since Sunday! <3

I also got a card from my Dad with some moola in it. I will totally be putting that towards a Louis Vuitton bag I plan on buying!

After gifts Cailin went for her morning nap and Dan went to go grab breakfast. We tried a new place called Linda's donuts. Can you say amazing? Yea. Fluffiest pancakes ever! yummy!

Later I played with Cailin even more and we headed to hole foods for some food shopping. We ended up getting some grass-fed burgers for dinner, and they were amazing!

Let's be honest here, I have been in a bad mood lately because someone close to me forgot my birthday and I was upset. They still haven't remembered. My birthday was in February. I know that is a long time to be upset about something but, who forgets a birthday like that? Not to mention it was kind of a crappy birthday anyways since I was battling morning sickness and didn't feel like going out for the second year in a row. I decided that next year I am having a bender and am getting blacked out drunk like I was turning 20 again. j/k but srsly, I need to go out and have a good time.

24 weeks!

I am 24 weeks pregnant today and baby M is growing growing growing! He is kicking a ton and rolling all around lately. He has started kicking me in the crotch like Cailin did. I went to the OB on Friday and everything was measuring perfectly. I go back in 4 weeks then I start going every 2! WHAT? I am totally unprepared for this kid haha!

We dropped Cailin off at Roberta's yesterday and got to have a date night last night. It was nice to go out sans baby and have a night to ourselves which hasn't happened since we went to California which wasn't all that long ago but I need time at home to get things done. I deep cleaned Cailin's room and organized all her clothes. I separated all the boy friendly things that we have and got together all the loose diapers in small sizes. Sometime this week I am going to go consign all of Cailin's newborn and 0-3 month summer clothes. :( She is so big now! A couple of girls from work have offered me their boy clothes which is so generous! I love hand me downs, I mean, really! Just about all of Cailins new clothes that we got or bought still looks brand new since she only wore everything a few times. Some of it only once or twice!

Cailin's birthday party planing is well under way. I got the invitations a little while ago and just got the invite list together. I will be mailing those out around when she turns 11 months old. When did my baby become a big girl?

She is such a good baby still and is exploring everything. She is so good at crawling around and getting into all sorts of things. She especially likes putting things in baskets (which I found out the hard way with her dirty clothes basket...) and banging things together. I have a feeling she is behind with her speech so I am going to ask about it at her next appointment. She says mama and baba and aba. If I ask where the kitty is she looks for the cat and knows what certain objects are but her verbal is low. I know that babies who are higher level or more advanced in one are they can lag in another so I am not super worried about it but I still want her to be on track. She is very social at daycare and loves her friends. She "shares" with her friends Tate and now little Leo too. She isn't into hanging out with the bigger kids and the two closer to her age who are older are not very social and are shy. Cailins favorite thing to do is to go up to baby Leo (who is almost 7 months) and take his toy, use it for a minute, and then give it back. He plays with it for a little then she grabs it again. He doesn't get too upset but the first time she did it he got weepy! Oh, Cailin! She has become super good friends with Tate and I hope he can come to her birthday party. They crawl around together and play, and even though Tate ran her over in his walker she still likes him!

Cailin loves Nicky and really doesnt care about Sylvester at all. Nicky is slow and she can get close to him but Sylvester has a heart attack when she comes around. I can't wait to torment those two fat cats with the new baby! Haha. It was so funny when we brought Cailin home how the two of them hid in a closet for a week. OR when the dr gave Dan Cailins first hat (which had some birth on it) and they smelled it, hissed at it, and hid in the bedroom. They are so dumb lol!

10 Months old!

My little baby girl is 10 months old, and guess what, SHE ISNT THAT LITTLE ANYMORE! I swear she grows an inch a day!

Cailin took a turn around 9 months, she has so much personality and is really becoming  her own person. she knows what she wants and is so lively! My crawler is also a stander. She can't stand without holding onto something but she is super close.

Cailin is also really becoming a good eater too. She is still drinking 4 bottles a day but she is now getting 2 snacks and 2 solid meals. Her favorites are mango, meatballs, pasta with sauce, mac and cheese, carrots, banana, french fries, chicken, fish sticks, sweet potato, yogurt, and cottage cheese.

Terrorist in my neighborhood!

I am sure everyone in the world know about the terrorist bombing that happened at the Boston Marathon on Monday. It was a horrible event that we in Boston and the rest of the US will never forget. Three innocent people were killed and over 170 others were injured, many very badly. I was fortunate to not be in the area that day and we were even more lucky that my husband and I were on vacation. If we weren't Dan would have been at work, and he works across the street from the bombing. Boston and State police worked quickly to secure the scene and quarintine the area to make it secure and safe. It is now Saturday and is still not open to the public. 

Fast forward to Friday. I woke up at 5 to start getting ready to bring Cailin to daycare. I had the day off because of April vacation but I had an important doctors appointment and bringing her would be a disaster. She is much to lively for that now. I looked at my phone and saw that Belmont, Cambridge, and Watertown had a travel ban and we were in lockdown. WHAT?! Dan couldn't go to work since there was no public transit so we stayed home. We quickly realized the gravity of the situation. In my 27 years the only times I have ever seen an entire city shut down was 9/11. Not only was Watertown closed but so were Newton, Cambridge, Brookline, Boston, Belmont and Waltham. UNHEARD OF! We were going to catch this guy and they were not messing around. After spending a day on lockdown in our homes they lifted the lockdown. About 30 minutes after that they caught him. He was hiding in a boat on Franklin Street in Watertown. 

Now, I live in the area. Like, the immediate area. Like, my dr's office was the office shown on tv as a building behind the shooting. Not only that but I frequent the Watertown and Arsenal Malls, the police set up camp in the parking lot of my former employer, and everything going on on Mt. auburn street happened in front of restaurants Dan and I frequent. This all happened less than a mile from our former apartment and around 1.5 miles from where we live now. We heard sirens, and saw helicopters. Belmont police sent around automated calls telling the residents to stay inside and not to open out doors for anyone except uniformed police officers with ID. 

I am grateful that they caught him, and ALIVE! I hope we can prosecute him to the fullest extent the law allows and justice will prevail. I hope the families of those killed can find solace and peace that he has been found. The events to have transpired in Massachusetts over the past five days have been horrific. An aspiring police officer was killed, marathon runners were severely injured or killed, and another officer was wounded. Millions of residents were scared and forced to hide in our own homes. I can't think of a better outcome for the lockdown and I am more than glad that a terrorist is off the street. This does not mean that we are safe. There will always be terrorists, and there will always be people out to hurt us for what America stands for. We should not live in fear but instead live as we will and do as we please and be happy. 

I think we should all hug our children a little tighter and give them extra kisses and be thankful for the free life we can live because of our first responders and wonderful law enforcement. There was never a doubt in my mind the Watertown PD would get him. They are ruthless, I know, I was their bartender! 

BOSTON STRONG! BOSTON PROUD!

HALFWAY THERE!

WAHOO! 20 Weeks pregnant today! (Only 20?!) I am feeling my little boy kick every day now and it is such a great feeling! He was kicking on the left but just this morning he started kicking much lower! Cailin did the same thing but I was much further along. I thought she was going to kick herself out!

I had a routine OB appointment on Friday and everything went perfectly. Baby boy's heart rate was in the high 140's/ low 150's which is right on target. I have no new pregnancy symptoms so I am basically on autopilot as my OB says! My pubic  bone still hurts, especially when I lay down but there is nothing I can really do about that for now! My next appointment is May 3.

We have 5 days of school until April vacation. We are going to California with my friend Tracy and her husband Brett for 5 days. I am so excited to have this little babymoon before our little guy comes. I know I will really miss Cailin because its difficult to leave her for two nights over my mother in laws. She is such a little spit fire lately and is totally becoming a toddler! :( My cuddly baby is growing into an adventurous little girl!

While in Cali we are going to Universal Studios and are actually staying right in the park. We plan on spending time in Hollywood and want to go to LA and Malibu for a little while as well. We only have 5 days so we don't have too much time. Me and Tracy definitely want to goto the Walk of Fame and find Bette Midler's star!

I need to survive the next few days of school and more over survive the new report cards we have to do. UGH. Then I can relax by the pool with a virgin mojito lol!

Spoiler Alert.... Gender results!

BOYYYYY!!!

We are having a boy!! I cannot believe it! One of each! WOW! Cailin will have a little brother!

The ultrasound went really well. The ultrasound tech was very nice and the Dr who I saw when I got diagnosed with the placenta pre via, Dr. Ralston was there too. He is like a Mr. Moll but an OBGYN instead. THAT WAS A WEIRD COMPARISON.

Baby looked great and he is measuring 3 days big. NBD. My placenta is now in the correct spot and everything else checked out ok!

Our little guy was a bit shy! He would not show a profile for a while until the dr came to do his check. He was also a little shy about showing his junk, but there was no doubting that he was a boy once he let it hang out lol!

Here are some pics...

Our little BOY's profile!

Little baby's leg and "third leg". The other leg is hidden behind my placenta. :)

Well in 21 weeks we will be the proud parents of our beautiful Cailin and her little brother. We will be keeping the name a secret again. 

18 weeks

Today I am 18 Weeks pregnant! only 22 left! It is so strange how pregnancies vary.. I mean this one is 100% different than when I was pregnant with Cailin.

When I was pregnant with Cailin: I did not have morning sickness, I was exhausted for the first trimester, felt 100% normal during the second trimester, got occasional headaches, and otherwise felt fine until the end of the third trimester when I started getting a bit swollen.

This time around... I had terrible morning sickness all through the first trimester and into the second, I still feel sick sometimes, I didn't get insane exhaustion, I feel achey, my pelvis feels like it will snap, I have trouble sleeping, and feel like I am 38 weeks pregnant. I don't know if it is just because this one is so close to my last pregnancy or just because it is more difficult. I am counting down the days until August 25 because if I start feeling any worse I can't handle it. My placenta previa is ridiculous too. Being on pelvic rest is a pain in the butt. Basically its a step below bed rest and I can't do anything strenuous at all.

My untrasound is on Tuesday and we will hopefully find out is this little one is a boy or girl!!! I am having strong boy vibes this time around. I really don't care if its a boy or a girl because on the one hand I would love to have one of each gender but I would also like Cailin to have a little sister. (Plus we already have everything for a girl!)

Figuring out the sleeping arrangements for baby #2 has been difficult. Cailin has her own room and has been sleeping in it since she was a month old. Before that she slept in the living room in her bouncy seat. If baby #2 is a girl I would love it if they could share a room but a newborn with a 1 year old would not work out. Cailin sleeps great and she does wake up with loud noises. Obviously a newborn wakes up a lot and has trouble falling asleep sometimes. We have a bassinet  but it is a little creaky so I am getting rid of it. I might get a pack and play and keep it in the bedroom or a new bassinet or just set up the crib in there. It is tricky because eventually they will both have their own bedrooms but we are not willing to move unless it is into something permanent which we will not be ready to even look for seriously until next summer.

Our financial situation is stable but Dan is looking for another job and I need to be sure I will be staying in Billerica. I really like it there but they do have a record of getting rid of people right before they obtain professional status. We would ideally like to stay in belmont, but the fact of the matter is that is just too expensive. If we move to another town it needs to have a fantastic public school system or a private school nearby. It does seem hypocritical that as a public school teacher I want to send my children to private schools but there are some aspects I like better about private vs. public but it really all depends on location and which private schools are available.

I digress but in any case we have an important ultrasound on Tuesday afternoon, so cast your votes! Pink or Blue?!?!?!?!?!

My baby girl is 9 months old!

The Cutie is 9 months old as of yesterday! I cannot believe she has been alive for just about as long as I was pregnant with her. She is such a bundle of joy, but she refuses to be a little bundle anymore!

She is such a feisty baby! SHe is crawling all over, standing while holding onto her crib, her toys, and anything else she can get her hand on! She loves her toys and playing with all of them. She has this new found love for Nicky and still doesn't care about Sylvester. Poor cat. She wants to pat Nicky so bad, but she is still too rough with him. She just slaps him and pulls his fur.

Cailin is starting to grow out of some of her toys. her gym is just about a no go since she doesn't want to spend time laying down unless she is sleeping. She still likes her jumparoo and her exersaucer but they aren't as popular as they used to be.

She has three teeth and knows how to use them! She is a big fan of table foods now which she wasn't at all a couple of weeks ago. She has tried corned beef, potatoes, carrots, spaghetti and meatballs, bread with hummus or butter, and bananas. She isn;t a fan of anything cold so some fruits are out for now. Tonight she is going to try mac and cheese.

Yesterday, she had her 9 month check up. Cailin now weighs 18 lbs and 2 oz and is 29 inches long putting her in the 52nd percentile for weight and 90th for height. She only gained about a pound and a half since her last visit three months ago which isn't that much considering she used to gain a pound a month. The doctor said it wasn't anything to be concerned about since she is more mobile. She is drinking 8 o of formula at night and in the am then two other 6 oz bottles while she is at daycare. She also eats two solid meals a day ranging from table and finger foods to purees. I am starting to phase out the purees and give her more table foods. I think in a couple of weeks I will be adding another solid meal and will be taking away another bottle. She hates her sippy cups so I'm not quite ready to add in another solid meal just yet.

Cailin is still taking 2 naps a day: one in the morning and one in the afternoon. She is still sleeping through the night but occasionally wakes up to coo or find her binky, but I rarely have to go in.

I have just started planning her birthday party for mid-june. Hopefully some of her friends from daycare can come along with some family and close friends. It will be at the Belmont Spray Park. I cannot believe my precious baby will be a year old soon. Where does the time go?

Happy St. Paddy's day! AND Happy 17 weeks pregnant to me!

Today is St. Paddy's day and I am also 17 weeks pregnant today! WOOOHOOOO! The countdown rolls on!

In honour of St. Pat's I am making Irish Soda Bread and a traditional boiled dinner (one of my favourites)! Our friend Aimee is coming over to have diner with us and celebrate Irish style. Normally I would be chugging Guinesses, throwing back Irish car bombs, and sipping on Irish whiskey but alas, I am pregnant and can only dream for the second St. Paddy's in a row!

I have a confession: I have never been to the St. Paddy's day parade in Southie! GASP!!!! I know, that is terrible. I think I am going to make a point to go next year.

In other news, I am 17 weeks pregnant today!  Our anatomy scan is next week on the 26th and hopefully if baby M cooperates we can find out his or her gender! I think I am voting for Team Blue this time around. This pregnancy is way different from when I was pregnant with Cailin in every possible way. Last time literally everyone thought I was pregnant with a boy, this time everyone seems to think girl with a few exceptions. We shall see!

I am happy to say that my morning sickness is just about gone. Every once in a while I still get a queesy feeling and have to lie down but it is no where as bad as it was and I have been off the Zofran for about two weeks now. UGH. I was so lucky to not have any morning sickness when I was pregnant with Cailin and I think I made up for it x2 this time around. TERRIBLE!

Now that that has passed I have been experiencing a wide range of other unwanted pregnancy symptoms: backache, pelvic pain, wacky dreams, oh my! I am also thankful that the dizziness has gone away as well. My next OB appointment isn't until April 5 so I have almost three weeks, boo. I actually enjoy going mainly because I like hearing the heartbeat and checking in on him or her!

Cailin has her 9 month appointment tomorrow. Unfortunately she is getting two shots. Poor baby! It is also her 9 month birthday! I am happy to say I can finally fit all of her hair into two pigtails! LOVE!

15 weeks and our crawler

Monday I had another OB appointment and baby M is doing well! His or her heart beat was around 155. I know I said it when I was pregnant with Cailin, but I really like y obgyn! We had a long conversation about my birthing options since I have a lot of worries about the birth this time. I really want a vaginal delivery but Cailin had shoulder dystocia and I have a greater risk of it happening again. I really don't want a c section for numerous reasons. I have a while to think about it but what we might do is opt for a vaginal delivery up until 39 weeks and on that day I will have a scheduled c section. That way I give myself a chance to give birth naturally but once the very end rolls around baby really might be too big. I will be really sad if I don't get to have a natural birth. I can't say I enjoyed labor and delivery but I will miss it if I can't do it.

Cailin is crawling! She still isn't good at it but she is doing it! My plan is to baby proof the house this weekend since she is mobile now.

Saturday happenings

Yesterday proved to be kind of an exciting day. I played with Cailin, went to lunch with a friend from work, and met Red Sox Hall-of-Famer pitcher, Bill Lee. I went to Cambridge Wine and Spirits to pick up Dan a six pack while the baby slept and he washed the dishes and Bill Lee was doing a tasting of his new wine called "Spaceman" his MLB nickname. Before you guys all freak out, yes, I had a sip of wine. I mean, literally a sip. Like less than a mouthful (plus I doubt a glass or two of wine is going to have any negative effect on a fetus, but I digress). I really wasn't too sure who Bill Lee really was but he seemed cool. He talked about his vineyard in Cali and how he was an avid supporter of legalizing marijuana for recreational and medicinal use. I am a supporter of medical marijuana and I kind of don't care if pot is legal for recreational use or not. It won't bother me either way. I actually think it might due us some good and would end some of the violence on our borders and streets. In regards to medical marijuana I can't say I know it's effect but I think that if it helps someone who is terminally ill feel less pain or helps someone with chronic pain it is a hell of a lot better than becoming addicted to opiates.

Well, he was super interesting and a huge toker. He said he used to blaze up a blunt while riding his bike on the way to Fenway to play a game and it would help him concentrate more and not get as nervous. Whatever works, bro. You had a great ERA and you still play professional baseball at 65 so what do I know!

I got a bottle of his wine, which was good, and he signed it for me. I know my dad would think its cool but I also like it! It makes for a great story to tell the kids some day! HA!

So after all that happened I ran into an old friend from when I was in the restaurant business and we got to talking for a while and I found out he also left our former employer on bad terms as well. (Screw that restaurant, but I am glad I totally kicked their ass legally). Some days I really miss working in the restaurant business. I really enjoyed the guests and bartending and having a later schedule. Not to say I hate my job in any capacity, I love it!

14 weeks and counting!

I am 14 weeks pregnant now! Yay! Just one week closer to meeting baby M and one week closer to not being pregnant anymore! HA!

This pregnancy has been much harder than my previous. I still have morning sickness, I'm tired, and I have insomnia. Yup. The past few nights I have woken up at 1am and can't fall back asleep. I am really starting to pop too. I had a little belly with Cailin around now so I assumed I would pop a bit sooner but I am grateful I can still wear my normal pants! I hate shopping for maternity clothes but I am really glad to be in the second trimester now! I had the oddest craving for Pringles today. I can't even remember the last time I had those! Im also craving a martini but that is not going to happen! I remember whenI was pregnant with Cailin I really want a raspberry Stoli and sprite. Also random.

Our fetal anatomy scan is in a few weeks and I can't wait to see our little babe on the big screen again!

I went to the consignment store and sold my breast pump and got Cailin a cute summer dress and the new baby a nice Peg Perrego carseat. I don't think the one we had before is super safe so this Peg Perrego one is a more top of the line model. I still have a $10 credit over there which I am sure will go to good use later. One thing I am thinking of doing differently is formula feeding from the beginning. Sometimes I feel bad that I didn't continue to breast feed Cailin after 3 months but she did not like breast milk at all. I also found it very depressing and isolating. I really wanted to breast feed but I think it is just too much for me to deal with. It did get better as time went one but it never got to the point where I enjoyed it or it came naturally to me. Starting with formula isn't ideal but I might actually enjoy the first few months this time around which is more valuable to me than anything.

Sometimes I get a little scared of having two kiddos, especially under 2! YIKES! Cailin loves other kids but we are both into a good solid routine that I am a little apprehensive that having the new baby will rock the boat for her. It is super important for her feedings to be the same and that she still sleeps through the night. Another thing I am nervous about is getting the new baby's nap schedule down. I was never able to get Cailin on a nap schedule but her daycare got her in a solid nap routine in a week. So if all else fails he or she will be on a nap schedule when I go back to work around Thanksgiving time. Hopefully I can do it myself though!

Cailin survived the stomach bug last week but now she has a cold... BOOOO! Yesterday I got a call at work from daycare saying she was super stuffy, coughing, and came down with a fever of 101. I picked her up and zipped over to the doc's and luckily she checked out ok. Her fever had already gone down to 99.8 and she had not been given any medication.  Also, she has three teeth now; her two bottom central incisors and her upper left lateral incisor. Random but its there.

Cailin's 8 month update!

Happy 8 month birthday Cailin! My little girl continues to amaze me everyday. She is such a wonderful little baby I still cannot believe she is ours. 

She has been quite sick for the past few days with a nasty stomach bug. She has been vomiting and has had issues on the other end too. Poor baby girl! Luckily she seems to be feeling better today.

In other news, she popped a tooth on Sunday! The bottom left is out and she has 3 more well on their way, just to add to her discomfort.

She still has the craziest hair ever! Especially when daddy does her hair the night before!

Cailin has also been able to pull herself to standing for a few days now. She loves it! What a little adventurer! She really likes to pull herself up to play with her activity cube and her push walker. She hasn't started crawling yet but I can tell its right around the corner. She does a mean combat crawl for now. 

She usually eats a 7oz bottle in the am, two 6oz bottles during the day, and an 8 oz bottle right before bed. She also has 2 solid meals. Some of her favorites are yogurt, fruit of any kind, squash, yogurt bites, mum mums, and rice cereal. She isnt big on finger foods at all. In fact, she has a bit of a texture issue, Anything chunky at all she will gag on. I did find out that she likes fried rice, but its not like I really ever give it to her other than the one time she tried it at the mall. 

I can't wait to spend the week with her since I am on vacation this week. We don't really have anything planned, just playing and hanging out.