fun fun fun and a c section date!

We have been super busy for the past few days and over the weekend.

Dan's mom took Cailin for a few days when Val first arrived. Me and Dan were baby free for a couple of days which was great. We got the change to really get some cleaning done and we also got rid of a bunch of crap around the house. I have a load of electronic recyclables to go and a ton of Cailin's clothes to be consigned. We already took a bunch to the consignment store in Belmont and they took some things but I also go to the Billerica one because they take a lot too.

We got to go to one of our favorite restaurants, The Talk. It has great food and drinks (which I have never experienced) and a nice atmosphere. It was really nice to get to spend some time together, just the two of us, especially since pretty soon it will be the FOUR of us! (we got our c section date! read on)

Saturday we did some serious cleaning and went to East Sandwich to stay with Val for the rest of the weekend. Cailin and Roberta met us there. Val had a little dinner for us and we had lobster, steamers, and a bunch f food. We all know that I am a huge lobster and steamers fan, it is my favorite meal EVER. We spent the night talking and gabbing with Mike, Val and Roberta. Cailin did a great job sleeping in a new place. She also slept in her pack and play which I was nervous about since she doesn't usually sleep in it. She has her own crib at Robertas and hasnt slept in it overnight for months. It took her a bit longer than usual to fall asleep but she did and she slept all night with one minor wake up to find a lost binky.

Sunday we woke up around 7 and started our day. Val took Cailin for a walk and Dan cooked everyone breakfast. Later we went to the beach (which Cailin hated) and then to a little river where Cailin waded and played in the water. She was pretty exhasusted after lunch which was when we decide to take off to avoid the heavy cape traffic. It was good that we left then because it was pretty busy on the roads. After we got home we went to the spray park and played with Cailin for the rest of the day.

So I got a call from my OB's office a little while ago and our c-section is scheduled for August 21 at 10:30 am! AAAAHHHHH! I can't believe than in 22 days we will be a family of 4! I am so excited they were able to book it on August 21 because that means Dr. MacDonald will be doing the delivery! I think I am even more excited for that haha! Baby M can always decide that he wants to come earlier but judging on how Cailin was born right before her due date, I think we will be set for the 21st. I have my weekly appointment with Dr. MacDonald tomorrow and my BPP on Friday. Cailin will be going to daycare on both days. I also have to finalize my plans for the substitute. oops.

ob and NST

I had my 35 weeks Ob appt and NST today and baby M is still doing well! He was dancing up a storm during my NSt, what a show off! His heart rates were good and I was not having any contractions at the time. Of course, right?1 It figures that when I am at the office I am contraction free but other times I have bad ones haha!

Next week I get the group b strep test. Fun fun at the Ob! (sarcastic undertone was huge there).

So I was supposed to get my c-section date today but it wasn't ready. WTF! I hate waiting but what can I do? The secretary submitted two dates to the hospital last week and Dr. MacDonald wants it to be when she is there and we are just waiting for a reply. They will call when they hear back or I will get it next week.

Since my body has been gearing up for labor lately my doc said if I do happen to go into labor before the scheduled c-section I will still have to have the c-section. UGH. I was hoping that if I went into labor before 38 weeks we could just go with the flow but when you take insulin your blood sugars can get crazy during labor and she doesn't want to risk me passing out because I have low blood sugar during labor. Eating would help but judging on how I practically barfed all over the place once contractions began, I am going to trust her judgement.

Speaking of nausea, I feel sick off and on lately. My OB says morning sickness can return if you had it in the first trimester, especially if it was moderate. Anyone else remember how sick I felt then? It seems like forever ago but I had some nast morning sickness until I was about 20 weeks pregnant.

I have my appointment with the MFM and my BPP on Friday. I love seeing my big boy on screen!

At my appointment today, and like always, my OB asked me about the baby's movement. I said he always worries me because he doesn't move all that much, especially compared to Cailin. She said it was totally normal as long as I was feeling movement that was normal for this baby. He does usually move when I really concentrate hard and lay on my left side. She then added that with her babies one of them moved a lot and was rather feisty in utero and the other was more lazy and laid back and they remained that way as children and teens (her kids are like 16/17 or something). One of them is the more academic one while the other is very very athletic and he was that way in utero, that he was the one who moved around more. I really enjoy that she has little stories like this, and shares them once in a while. I hear so many people complain about their pregnancies or they are so obsessed with them, that they seem so foreign.

I didn't want to go off on a little tangent but I am going to anyways. Why do people automatically assume that Cailin and Baby M were "accidents"? Is it because me and Dan are both youngish? Is it because we haven't been married very long? Is it because they are close in age? I really don't get it! Poeple have even asked me if I was pregnant before we got married. (umm, first you are a frigging idiot if you think that because we got married in August, and she was born and was due in June. It would add up that I was not pregnant at my wedding. Second, it isn't your business.)

 We can set the record straight about both pregnancies here and now. Before we got married we talked about having children and we both agreed that we wanted to be done having kids before I was 30. We had 5 years to get pregnant and have babies. After talking about it we decided that since it takes an average couple 6-12 months of solid "trying" to get pregnant to conceive that we would start that path especially since it was possible that it would take longer than we wanted for it to happen. We were very lucky that we got pregnant instantly. When I say instantly, I mean, now you can do the math, it happened quickly, Cailin was planned. It was a surprise she came along so quickly, but she was indeed planned. Now as far as baby M goes, people ask me about him all the time (including some certain people I see medically, not to mention any specific ass-hole diabetes nurses I see at Mt. Auburn Hospital) if he was planned. Again, yes he was.

As just about everyone knows, I am an only child and hate every second of it. I hated it as a child and I hate it now as well. My parents wanted only one child so they could give me everything they didn't have and I am not faulting them for that. I am happy with the way I was raised, and I got everything I could have ever wanted. I was loved and provided for in every way. The only thing I miss is a sibling. I never had that permanent friend that all of my friends and cousins had. Sure I had friends who did not like their brothers and sisters but they still had that bond. I never got to experience that and it is something I really am lacking. As a kid I always wanted someone to play with. While I had friends it wasnt the same. Now that I am an adult I miss having a sibling to be good friends with and raise kids together. I also feel bad that Cailin and baby M will not have any family members close in age because I dont have any siblings myself. Dan is more or less in the same boat since he and his brother are far apart in age.

Getting back to baby M's pregnancy, yes he was planned. Like Cailin he came very quickly as well. Since me and Dan dont have siblings or are very far apart in age from our siblings we wanted our children to be as close as possible, especially in school. In order for them to be a year apart in school I had 4 solid months to get pregnant and since I was nursing Cailin the odds of that happening were low. It seems like our master plan was set from the beginning since we conceived baby M while I was nursing and that he would be one grade behind Cailin in school. We got pregnant with him at the last possible second, since his original due date was August 27, then was moved to August 25. (He had to be born on or before august 31 to be a year apart from Cailin in school). Now he will arrive around or before August 18.

So to sum up a lengthy blog post, baby M is doing well, I am doing well, and Cailin and baby M were both planned and were not "accidents". Cailin's god-parents, Val and Mike are here for over a month form Arizona and we will be busy with them this weekend so I don't know if I will have a spare moment to update on Friday's NST and the c-section date until next week. I will be sure to keep y'all in the loop about those things plus our busy weekend when I can!

Cailin is 13 months and Baby M's latest u/s

Pretty princess Cailin turned 13 months old yesterday! I still can't believe she is 1, let alone 13 whole months. Seriously, where is the time going? Cailin has started walking. She isn't very good at it and can only take a few steps at a time but she is doing it. Today was her best day yet. She was walking all over and has even started letting me hold her hands and walk. I love it! She looks so cute and I am so proud of the progress she is making.

She is gabbing up a storm, but hasn't *officially* said any real words yet. I could have sworn she said hello after I asked her to but she only did it once and wouldn't do it again. I know she will get there soon. 

I had my NST and BPP this week and Baby M is doing well. He is around 7lbs 5oz. The maternal fetal medicine specialist, Dr. Ralston, thinks he will be around 10 lbs at full term. Since I am having a c-section around 39 weeks, he will be around 9.5 lbs. I get the exact date on Wednesday and I cannot wait. Fingers crossed that Dr. MacDonald does the procedure because I will be a disaster if it is someone else!

Baby M will be coming around Aug 18.

So you read that correctly, baby M will be making an early entrance. I am 40 weeks on August 25, but will be having a planned c-section around August 18 once I reach the 39 week area. Dr. MacDonald made this decision for me for several reasons, and I agree with all of them. 1. Cailin was a big baby. 2. I have GD. 3. This baby is already massive. 4. Cailin's birth had many complications. 5. Letting me go past 40 weeks could be dangerous to the placenta due to the GD. I know this is for the best even though it is a really big and scary decision. I will need a lot more recovery time and being with Cailin will be hard since she is so young. Dan's mom and Aunt Val will be around to help and Dan will be taking some time off from work.

The c-section itself doesn't really scare me. While it does pose more risks than a vginal birth, they are still minimal. What I am most upset about is not getting to spend the quality time ith baby M right when he is born, which I was also robbed of when Cailin was born. When Cailin was born her shoulder dystocia and the cord around her neck, along with her decelerations in her heart rate right before birth prompted a nicu team to be in the room. The took her over to the exam table instantly. I didnt get to hold her until she was 10 minutes old. I really missed being passed a slippery newborn and having the dr put her directly on my chest for instant skin to skin contact time. Dan never got to cut her cord either.  I had been really looking forward to those first moments and I never got to have them. This time it will be the same. No skin to skin, no slippery baby, no cord cutting. Instead I will be passed a well cleaned bundle who is already wrapped in a blanket and who has already seen the pediatrician. I could ask for them to not clean him off but it will take 40 minutes to clean me up and send me to recovery before I could see him. It is just too long. Dan will be with him from the second he is born and will go with him to be evaluated and get his first bath, just like he did with Cailin.

I am a little nervous about the pain management because we all know that I am a pain wimp. I can't handle anything. I know I will get either a spinal block or epidural during the c-section, so I know I will be all set there, but it is after that I am more worried about. Simple Percocet won't do the trick. They gave me that, after some begging, when Cailin was born and it was a joke. If it can't dull the pain of a vaginal birth, than I can imagine it would be like taking one tylenol for a migraine. Nothing. I am lucky to have a friend who has already had a c-section before and she said she received dilauded and that worked well. I hate asking for drugs but I will do what I have to. Hopefully they give me some valium and zofran because I can already see myself being a friggin disaster.

In the end, I know attempting a vaginal birth will be too risky at full term. If I go into labor around 37 weeks they will do an ultrasound first to measure him and then assess the situation. 38 weeks plus will require a c-section. It is a difficult decision to deal with but I know it is the right one. I trust Dr. MacDonald and this is what she thinks it best. Let's all hope she is going to be the one to do the procedure. If she isn't I willbe sure to be a nervous wreck for the whole ordeal.

Next Wednesday we will have a date and I will know who will be doing the procedure. Fingers crossed for Dr. MacDonald!

33 week dr's update

So It's friday and I have had all of my pregnancy appointments for the week. Yesterday's OB appointment and NST went well. Baby was sleeping at first so Dr. MacDonald gave me some M&Ms to wake him up. It did the trick. He squirmed away after that and everything checked out fine. Dr. MacDonald and I discussed the birth a little and we are definite that he will be delivered around 39 weeks one way or another. We want to wait and see what his weight and size looks like around 36 weeks to make our final decision. In all honesty I really think this will end in a c-section and I would be ok with that decision. I ultimately want what is best for the baby and me and that could be the best route. The MFM I saw today is already sold on a c-section so I might walk into my OB appointment Tuesday with Dr. MacDonald having already decided a c-section is best. He was measuring big, around 6lbs 10oz, which is in the 78th percentile. Not massive, but a bit big for his gestation.

The diabetes has been almost under control for a while. My diet is good and all of my post meal numbers are good. The only number that isn't is the fasting number. This means it is not diet induced and is instead due to hormones. I will be increasing my insulin daily until we reach a dosage that can control the fasting number.

One thing I want to sort of gripe about is people's attitude towards this whole situation. First, Cailin was a big baby and had shoulder dystocia which already means I am at risk of having a big baby again. She was perfectly healthy and I did not have GD. I have a longer than average torso so naturally Cailin was big. Dan was a big baby as well. Second, I do not have GD because I eat crap all day. A typical days food consists of yogurt, eggs, salad, chicken, and veggies. I don't eat sweets. I don't eat processed foods. I only eat proteins and healthy veggies. I am overweight I know, but that does not cause diabetes. Third, the GD is being caused by a medication I am on for Colitis. I was not on this medication when I was pregnant with Cailin. Unfortunately when I was around 15 weeks pregnant they discontinued the medication I was on, I tried going on through the pregnancy without medication but that didn't go well. I tried another pregnancy and breastfeeding safe medication but it gave me a terrible headache. My doctor didn;t want to fool around with medications while I was pregnant so she put me on this current medication when I was around 22 weeks pregnant. It works and is safe for the baby too. I can take it during pregnancy but once I deliver I will be experimenting with other drugs to find one that works that I can take long term. This mean I cannot breastfeed. Again, not my decision.

All of this adds up to me having GD and not being able to breastfeed. I know breast is best and that is why Cailin was breastfed for 4 months. Some of my friends and family act like I am causing all of this. I am not. I cannot willfully control my colitis and I cannot control the gestational diabetes. When I tell people that I have GD they often tell me I need to watch my diet. I know I do, and I am. I am also guilty of looking at people and thinking that diabetes is caused excluseively by poor diet, but its not. There are several factors and when it comes down to it, anyone can get it. If I had my way I wouldn't be living with Colitis and I wouldn't put my baby at risk and have GD. This things are not my fault, and I know that whole heartedly, but I can't help but get upset when people act like I am doing this to myself. Luckily my doctors know the background and that I am not at the root of these problems. My friends and family need to follow. I don;t want a c-section, I dont want to have colitis, and I don;t want GD.

33 weeks

So Sunday marks 33 weeks pregnant. I can't believe we are already getting to the final stretch and boy am I ready! Dan and I have been slowly putting together baby boy's room. His changing table is set up, I washed two loads of baby clothes and folded them, and we bought the crib. Dan should be setting that up this weekend. We also went and bought some diapers and wipes the other day. I got tons of diapers from friends at work so we have a lot of what we need already. Oddly enough we got so much shampoo and baby wash at Cailin's shower we are all set in that department too.

I have been feeling ok since leaving school. I still get tons of contractions both real and BH. The real ones only last for an hour but are still unsettling. I went to my OB once for them and she ran some tests and it wasn't labor and said I would just have to deal with them.

Since the GD diagnosis I have had more and more appointments. I have been taking insulin before bed which regulates my fasting number and has been working for the past two days. I also just started taking insulin before breakfast and that has also helped the last two days as well. My diet is great, I eat tons of veggies and protein and very little carbs. My dietician thinks the GD is purely hormone related but I still find it very very frustrating. Even though I keep a good diet my levels are high at random points. I now have three appointments a week: my regular OB, an U/S, and an NST/appointment with an MFM. The MFM is nice and I have seen him before when I had placenta previa. This weeks OB appointment is on thursday and it is a rather big appointment. The u/s last week showed baby was healthy but already large. Measuring 5lbs 12 oz, she was already talking about deciding to do a c-section since Cailin was large and had a scary delivery. Adding the GD to the mix creates another level of risk to the delivery. I am not very fond of having a c section but I would rather have that then have another scary delivery like Cailin's. I put the decision into her hands since I don't think I can make the right one. Either way, the second 37 weeks rolls around I will be giving this baby an eviction notice and will be doing everything and anything to get him out. This can also help me avoid a section.

Dan and I are having a terrible time coming up with names. We have two that we have been playing with but Im not super fond of either.

Cailin has made the switch to sippy cups and is doing ok with them. She doesnt like to drink much when she eats but she still downs 3 8oz bottles a day. She is also starting to walk a bit but only a couple of steps at a time. I dont want to pressure her but it is a goal of mine to have her walking within the next 6 weeks so she is mobile before the baby comes home! My poor girl has some sort of virus right now and is a little sick. She doesnt want to eat much and has had a fever for 2 days. Hopefully she will wake up fine tomorrow. I did go out and get some pedialite and more tylenol and advil for her just in case.